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Maybe it’s my inability to find a convenient label that leads me to that conclusion about myself, swm looking for chocolate or maybe at some level I know myself and others so well I’m qualified to spot something rare. Hehehe.now tonight only Anyway, conversation and Dienten am Hochkonig partner wanted it’s a fun mental exercise. I plan to make this quite lengthy as I take a moment in time to explore myself (no, I’m not touching myself), so I’ll save some of you time by putting right up front what I anticipate to be deal breakers for many readers. First, I’m married. I’ve been married for a very long time and will continue to be married for a very long time. While there are certainly a multitude of complications that come with a relationship with a married Dom, I like to think that is an indicator of a certain type of stability of character. I know that statement is rich with irony but it certainly has an element of truth about it as well. My wife and I were swingers (but are not active now), and we’re very open in our communications. Everything I do is with her full knowledge and she has almost always met my submissives in the past. She doesn’t necessarily know or want to know the most intimate details so I still manage to retain some privacy for my submissives. I would describe myself as polyamorous. While I am fiercely loyal to and truly love my wife, I also have room in my heart for dedication to another and prefer that other share my interests in the power between Dom and sub. I did not always believe in polyamory but I do not choose it or describe myself so simply so I can justify my extramarital relationship. When we were swinging I was a strong advocate of a certain set of rules among swingers. Chief among them was “No means No” and I follow that still, but more appropriate to this discussion was the rule, “Don’t fall in love.” Love is a dangerous thing and can certainly result in the destruction of a couple when xxx falls in love with another person. Swingers draw the line there and the result is simply a series of meaningless (but fun) sexual encounters without most of the danger of “cheating”. My problem is that no longer works for me. I’m not saying I need “Love”, but I certainly crave a different type of intimacy. The intimacy I long for, perhaps even require, is the intimacy of the Dom/sub bond. I do enjoy casual encounters, yes. They quickly lose their luster though and they do not satisfy my hunger. Those encounters are sexy, but hold little true power. Power surrendered at the drop of a hat produces a whisper of sound while power surrendered through a truly intimate bond between a Dom and his sub roars like the alpha lion. I’ve often thought about the meaning behind a collar and have used them as props for casual play. I can and do still use them as such, but I also see the collar as a very powerful symbol of the bond and that simple device can be transformed into a physical manifestation of the power echoing back and forth between Dom and sub. That’s the collar I carry today and that’s the collar that I wish to place. It’s been fun to watch myself evolve over the years. It was only about x years ago that a submissive first knelt and ed me Sir. I certainly wasn’t ready to take that power and was a clumsy Dom at best. I suspect I’m still a clumsy Dom today, but I’m certainly working hard to change that. I’ve had a series of short relationships with subs and I think that has stymied my ability to find my true path. It’s difficult to describe my interests in various aspects of BDSM since I don’t have a lot of experience in any of the obvious paths. What I do know about myself is this. 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